Muggi
08-27-2007, 04:02 PM
OK so..the story of my totally fucked weekend.
Bachelor party in A.C...ok, not sure why we're going to A.C. as there's plenty of boobies in Philly but..whatever. 17 of us going down. Groom's bro supposedly planning everything. I'll try to keep this short...
We meet up at 6pm...bro says, "ok! off to dinner!" Sounds good...he walks us to...HOOTERS. Hooters fucking sucks. The food is shit, and the chicks are usually not very hot. We get there..he's got no reservations. We get to wait for 30mins for a table. We proceed to eat shitty food and drink shitty beer. So ok we're figuring the guy's picking up the tab so he didn't wanna blow his load on just dinner...check comes, he starts asking for money. At one point he actually turned to me and said, "you can take care of this, right?" WTF?! I'm not picking up a $300 tab when I'm supposed to be a fucking GUEST at this thing. That money is reserved to pay hot women to do unspeakable things to the groom.
SO, out of Hooters and into the casino. Now, this is the SECOND BUSIEST WEEKEND of the year in A.C., so the place is fucking PACKED. Takes me an HOUR at the tables to get a fucking drink, and even then it's only from the Dixie-cup shit the server has on her tray. Muggi is becoming angered.
10pm, we head to the strip club. Brother says, "oh I come down here all the time with my wife, I know where we gotta go." Now, Muggi had schmoozed TWENTY FREE LAPDANCE tickets off the concierge at the Trop for this other club..but no, the bro insists this is the hottest strip club west of well..somewhere west of A.C. In the ocean. Ok whatever...we get to the club, there's a fucking LINE to get in. We wait..and wait..45mins go buy, I see a group of guys just walk right by us. I flag this guy down..tells me he's with a bachelor party that made reservations a couple days in advance..and that got them the V.I.P. room for FREE for 3 hours. Our party gets to wait outside..to go in the regular club and stand kissably close to freaks with chubbies. And the chicks...suck. Not willing to do anything really fun, shitty lapdances, and not very good looking. OH and the place is BYOB, the4 bro said he had it taken care of...he's got TWO cases of beer. TWO. for 17 guys.
Muggi...has had enough. I grab 10 of the guys, head for the other club, and have a good ole time til about 4AM. Hot chicks willing to show you a good time (ok not THAT kind of good time) and work for your money. I get the bachelor 30mins of "hot tub dancing" with 2 gorgeous and fairly smart girls (one was even a Firefly fan, she started quoting Inara lines to me..I gave her way too much money. DAMN YOU "PEACHES" AND YOUR MASSIVE MAMMARY GLANDS).
5AM, we all meet back up at the Trop...start talking to the bro, turns out he expected everyone to DRIVE HOME tonight, so he didn't get any rooms..except for himself of course. Since he didn't book anything in advance, we gotta take what we can find..at 5AM..which ends up being a ---$485--- shit-ass room. People pass out around 6AM...I can't sleep. I wait til 8AM and wake everyone's ass up, tell em we're going home. Sometimes having the vehicle is a blessing.
Only really good thing was I nailed some asshole driving REALLY drunk on the A.C. Expressway on the way home. I had the Suburban's cruise control set at 90 and he BLEW by me, weaving all over the road. Called the State Police emergency #, got to see his drunk ass spread-eagle on the hood of his Jeep about 15miles down the road. I have earned my Jr. Policeman's Badge!
OK rant off. His fiance better have some hot friends.
EDIT: OH to make things even better, two guys i didn't know there got stopped for speeding on the way home..one got busted for having weed, the other..this really disturbing-looking uber-short guy, has a bunch of coke and a handgun on him. This is the fucking shitass people the brother brought to the party. See you in 5 years angry short-freaky guy!
Bachelor party in A.C...ok, not sure why we're going to A.C. as there's plenty of boobies in Philly but..whatever. 17 of us going down. Groom's bro supposedly planning everything. I'll try to keep this short...
We meet up at 6pm...bro says, "ok! off to dinner!" Sounds good...he walks us to...HOOTERS. Hooters fucking sucks. The food is shit, and the chicks are usually not very hot. We get there..he's got no reservations. We get to wait for 30mins for a table. We proceed to eat shitty food and drink shitty beer. So ok we're figuring the guy's picking up the tab so he didn't wanna blow his load on just dinner...check comes, he starts asking for money. At one point he actually turned to me and said, "you can take care of this, right?" WTF?! I'm not picking up a $300 tab when I'm supposed to be a fucking GUEST at this thing. That money is reserved to pay hot women to do unspeakable things to the groom.
SO, out of Hooters and into the casino. Now, this is the SECOND BUSIEST WEEKEND of the year in A.C., so the place is fucking PACKED. Takes me an HOUR at the tables to get a fucking drink, and even then it's only from the Dixie-cup shit the server has on her tray. Muggi is becoming angered.
10pm, we head to the strip club. Brother says, "oh I come down here all the time with my wife, I know where we gotta go." Now, Muggi had schmoozed TWENTY FREE LAPDANCE tickets off the concierge at the Trop for this other club..but no, the bro insists this is the hottest strip club west of well..somewhere west of A.C. In the ocean. Ok whatever...we get to the club, there's a fucking LINE to get in. We wait..and wait..45mins go buy, I see a group of guys just walk right by us. I flag this guy down..tells me he's with a bachelor party that made reservations a couple days in advance..and that got them the V.I.P. room for FREE for 3 hours. Our party gets to wait outside..to go in the regular club and stand kissably close to freaks with chubbies. And the chicks...suck. Not willing to do anything really fun, shitty lapdances, and not very good looking. OH and the place is BYOB, the4 bro said he had it taken care of...he's got TWO cases of beer. TWO. for 17 guys.
Muggi...has had enough. I grab 10 of the guys, head for the other club, and have a good ole time til about 4AM. Hot chicks willing to show you a good time (ok not THAT kind of good time) and work for your money. I get the bachelor 30mins of "hot tub dancing" with 2 gorgeous and fairly smart girls (one was even a Firefly fan, she started quoting Inara lines to me..I gave her way too much money. DAMN YOU "PEACHES" AND YOUR MASSIVE MAMMARY GLANDS).
5AM, we all meet back up at the Trop...start talking to the bro, turns out he expected everyone to DRIVE HOME tonight, so he didn't get any rooms..except for himself of course. Since he didn't book anything in advance, we gotta take what we can find..at 5AM..which ends up being a ---$485--- shit-ass room. People pass out around 6AM...I can't sleep. I wait til 8AM and wake everyone's ass up, tell em we're going home. Sometimes having the vehicle is a blessing.
Only really good thing was I nailed some asshole driving REALLY drunk on the A.C. Expressway on the way home. I had the Suburban's cruise control set at 90 and he BLEW by me, weaving all over the road. Called the State Police emergency #, got to see his drunk ass spread-eagle on the hood of his Jeep about 15miles down the road. I have earned my Jr. Policeman's Badge!
OK rant off. His fiance better have some hot friends.
EDIT: OH to make things even better, two guys i didn't know there got stopped for speeding on the way home..one got busted for having weed, the other..this really disturbing-looking uber-short guy, has a bunch of coke and a handgun on him. This is the fucking shitass people the brother brought to the party. See you in 5 years angry short-freaky guy!